The Care of the Elderly

Last time we talked about how it is only fair that we repay our parents for the eighteen years or so they cared for us. We can do that by taking care of them when they get older and can’t take care of themselves. 1st Timothy 5:8 told us that if we don’t, we are “Worse than an infidel.”

But, now I want you to see what Jesus had to say on the subject. In response to the accusation of the Scribes and Pharisees that Jesus’ disciples didn’t follow the traditions, we read this in Matthew 15:3-9:

3 He answered and said to them, “Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition? 4 For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’ 5 But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God”— 6 then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. 7 Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying: 8 ‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. 9 And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ ”

The disciples of Jesus may have ignored the traditions of the Scribes and Pharisees, but the Scribes and Pharisees ignored the clear teaching of God’s Law. Rather than honor their mother and father in the way 1st Timothy 5 tells us to – by caring for them – the Scribes and Pharisees claimed they had dedicated all their money to God. How pious that sounds. But in the meantime, they used the money for themselves.

The point is again, the way we honor our parents is by supporting them in their old age. Is it really commanded? Yes, according to the passage. Matthew 15:6 stated, “Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect.” No amount of other good deeds will prove we are pious, if we neglect our parents, if we do not provide for our parents. Instead, we only prove our hypocrisy.

James 1:27 concurs: “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” This doesn’t mean to visit orphans and widows empty-handed. We are not on a social call, but we are there to supply their needs.

If the family won’t do it, then who must? 1st Timothy 5:16 answers that: “If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.” If the family won’t do it, it is the church’s responsibility. It is not the government’s role. We have allowed the government to take over way too many responsibilities that really belong to the home and to the church.

But this responsibility should even be applied to the believing wives whose husbands have abandoned them, or have run off with another woman. This is especially true if she has children to care for. The family, or church by default, should support her so she doesn’t have to abandon the kids to daycare so she can go off to work to support herself.

But, oh, how we have drifted from the Biblical mandate. Quoting from an article in the U.S. News and World Report:

“But Americans increasingly expect government to do this job. Temple University Demographer Joseph McFalls remarks, ‘It’s really not so unusual for one institution, such as the family, to give up some of its functions to another, such as the government. Families used to be responsible for the education of children and the care of the aged; the government does both now.’”

But, McFalls isn’t decrying this phenomenon. He goes on to call for even further government intervention into families. He believes what Hillary said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” NO! It only takes a family. Each government intrusion has only made things worse. One only needs to look at the mess our society is in, or look at the terrible job being done by the government schools to realize this.

Today, we call on government to take care of all our needs, including care of the elderly. But Social Security is an actuarial nightmare – a time bomb waiting to go off and leave us baby boomers busted. There is no way the coming generation can afford to support a growing and enormous crowd of unproductive old people, and that includes me.

Nor can we expect much sympathy from our kids who have been trained by us to ship off our responsibility to others as we ship them off to day care at ever younger ages. We send them off for others to raise so we can pursue our own goals. But if a career is the most important thing for a daughter to pursue, she won’t be around anyway to care of mom or dad when they get old. Care of the elderly is a hands-on experience that requires lots of time.

What kind of kids are we raising? Are they ones who will take care of us when we need them? As one child told his mom, “You better be nice to me. I’ll be the one picking out your nursing home.” What kind of example will they see in us?