God said in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Some translations use “forsake” in place of leave. They say that a man should forsake his parents, but can that be a legitimate translation? Yes, it is an acceptable translation if you look at the word definitions, but not in the way you might think. We are to forsake our dependency upon our parents, but never forsake our parents.
What do we mean by that? As adults, what should our relationship be to our parents? A good explanation is found in Ephesians 6:1-3:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “’Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: “’that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’”
The first verse defines the relationship between children and parents. Children are responsible to obey their parents. And it tells us why – “for this is right.” But should a son obey his parents? Well, is he a child? If not, obedience is no longer required, not if the son is responsible for himself. Only those living under the roof of their parents or eating at their table must obey, not adult children who have made their own families. Yet parents still want to control what their sons do – what kind of car they drive, where they live, how many kids they have, how to educate those kids, and on and on. May it never be. Take advice from your parents, but don’t let them control your life.
What about the second command in Ephesians 6:1-3, the command to “’Honor your father and mother,” quoted from the Ten Commandments? Is there a stopping point with honor? Is there an age limit? No! You must always honor your parents as long as they shall live.
But that brings up a question: How do we honor our parents? Is it merely sending a Mother’s Day card? Is it merely not being rude of insulting? Of course not.
The answer is outlined in 1st Timothy 5:3-4:
“Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.“
The word honor, the way it is used in this passage, really means to support them; and in this case, it is talking about the support of widows. Specific this is calling for the support of those who are “really widows,” meaning widows who have no means of support.
In this passage, Paul calls this “good and acceptable before God.” What is good and acceptable? It is when you “repay” your parents – this is where the rubber meets the road. Repay them for what? How about for the eighteen to twenty years of love and support they gave you? It’s doing the only right and fair thing. They took care of you when you couldn’t take care of yourself. It’s only proper that you reciprocate when they are unable to take care of themselves. And notice: this is addressed to both children and grandchildren.
Is it tough? Oh, yes! But is it right? Oh yes! The Bible tells us that. 1st Timothy 5:8 tells us: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Even unbelievers will take care of their own. If we don’t what does that say about us?
1st Timothy 5:7 adds this, “And these things command, that they may be blameless.” Charity begins in the home. Godliness begins in the home. And this isn’t Old Testament legalism, it is New Testament commandment. We obey God by honoring our parents, and we honor them by providing for their needs when they can no longer provide for themselves.
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